#8 - TEASING - Inclusivity without the Tall?

Thoughts

Feb 11

I’m being asked a lot these days how I came about to start the T-Factor world.

I make sure to be as fresh as possible and not mention that all this is outlined in my first blog posts;-)

But hey, it is a valid question. Why do I put myself on the line like that?

Why start this honest, authentic and difficult world for myself?

Well, there are many, many reasons why I’m doing all this but I’ll stick to the main one. It’s because I want to be part of the conversation of body-image positivity and everything that goes with it. Confidence, self-awareness, potential, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-everything.

I want to help others feel they are not alone in feeling awkward, like they don’t belong and I want them to embrace their singularity ASAP and certainly not fight it.

Because in the end, if there’s nothing they can do about their difference, there is definitely something they can do about how it will affect them.

For the longest time, I did not understand the value of my height. I just thought it was a nuisance all around. Couldn’t find clothes, shoes, boyfriends, friends and I realized by putting so much emotional weight on my body I removed all the chances I possibly had to love it for what it was and become the strong woman I’m meant to be.

Being very tall was not easy for me. The teasing, the name-calling, the bullying, the judging, the feeling of being an outcast were very real and very destructive in the long run.

I touch upon in my song Take Me Away which is my ‘teenagers anthem’.

So I know where you come from if you’re struggling with identity or with your body.

In the T-Factor podcast starting tomorrow, you’ll hear us talk about empathy a lot. You will listen to my conversations with other ‘outcasts’ and learn from their experience. I certainly have. I’ve learned that it is up to us and us alone to dig ourselves out of the mind-fuck we put ourselves in.

And it is important to put the finger on what’s holding you back before you can move forward. I’m doing that now and I’m taking you with me.

It is also important to understand one's own responsibility in seeing things crooked.

I knew a young black woman here in NYC who was visiting for a year. She was convinced people in the city were racist. She would point out situations where i'd be with her and she would tell me how that moment or that person made her feel like an outcast, like they were racist or judging the color of her skin. I'd be stunned as I'd be there with her, living the same thing and not see what she was seeing in the least.

I am sure that one can easily fall victim to racism in a place like NYC, but i'm talking about moments that I witnessed and couldn't possibly understand her judgement of them.

This made me understand that no matter what happened to her, she had already decided unconsciously that she'd be a victim of racism. It was a big moment for me to understand we manage to color our world with our own perception as long as we're stuck in the vicious cycle of self-victimization. And I was pretty good at just that. I can’t compare the hardships of being black with being tall, that’s impossible as being black has a loooonnnnnnng history of discrimination. But I want to make the point that it’s also up to each one of us to change the way we see ourselves and the world.

Aerie 2019 Campaign with Paralympic Medalist Brenna Huckaby and other power house ladies

Luckily, the times we live in are very promising for Body-image Positivity for all kinds of body types. There are tons of role models out there who pave the way to show us all to embrace our body, our condition, our fate. Just look at so many YouTubers, singers, actors and different ad campaigns we see now with strong role models of all shapes and sizes and color, like the Aerie latest one. And brands don’t hesitate to use Transgender models as well.

But just for Tease, note that there are still no Tall person represented in ads! I’m telling you, we are like Dobby and the elves hidden under the dining hall at Hogwarts, we exist but nobody knows it or talks about it:-)

Sure, social media can lead you down a dangerous rabbit hole if you start comparing yourself rather than get inspired. There are two sides to the medal of social media, it is crucial to keep a certain distance from it all and have the wits about you to take it all with a grain of salt.

Create before you Consume!
- Julie Solomon - The Influencer Podcast

But on the other side of the medal, there are true inspirational stories and people that can help feel connected and understood.

I remain hopeful that even in this day and age where we have a Bullier-in-Chief as a President, human kindness always prevails and as Dumbledore would say "there's always help for those who ask for it."

Yes, you can tell we’re into Harry Potter in my household.

I know an inclusive society on all fronts is possible because we live it a little every day. And that’s what’s so wonderful about NYC, you can walk around with a cat on your head and a pink tutu (yes I saw a man do just that) and nobody cares!

I traveled to Tahiti 12 years ago, a long time before this body-image business and LGBT lingo even existed. Over there, the third sex is completely and utterly part of society. You see men walking around in sarongs with long hair and nail polish everywhere, serving you dinner, at the hotel front desk. We were told not to stare because it is very accepted in Tahiti. And after the third guy we saw cross-dressing, we didn’t even think twice about it anymore.

Once a difference is understood or at least explained all taboos go away. That’s why we are SO lucky today and the younger generation(s) are so lucky to have access to so much explanation about the human condition. I absolutely love connecting with other tall and taller women and share our stories. I would not have felt so peculiar had I had access to this online world before.

So this is a short blog this week. I have a lot to get to tomorrow for the second episode (first interview) with my lovely guests.

Dr. D. is a badass 6’2” ½ psychiatrist and Terri Mateer is a 6’1” woman with her heart on her sleeve.

And yes, I will agree, I'm exaggerating a little and teasing. There IS an ad campaign with a woman who's 6'3". Goodness ML, don't be so fatalistic. One campaign, in the history of humanity.

Have a wonderful week, don’t get fooled by what you see during fashion week, and I’m not talking about clothes only… My neighborhood downtown has become a catwalk of awesome awkwardness and it’s eye candy all around.

A demain,

ML.